OK, with all the @mefirst and Women’s March stuff going on out there, and the many people supporting a whittling away at sexual distinctions, because, you know, people can choose to be whoever they want, too, I started wondering about what the world would be like if we got rid of all the sexual distinctions that make up masculinity and femininity.
The trend seems to be that this movement would like us to start moving in the direction of eliminating tangible differences between men and women. At the very least, that is their end point in logic. How do I get there? Because that is the only way to get men from harassing women. Like it or not, men are made to admire women, which will inevitably mean some ladies won’t like it when admire them. And under the current structure of the debate, admiring a woman who does not admire back can be considered harassment.
There is no other way. Until men stop admiring women, people are going to continue to get angry and offended. Now, I would hope detractors would say it is not the admiration that is a problem, which is fair. However, there are real questions as to where admiration crosses lines, which can only mean there will be problems. The trend further takes the answer to that question to a point that suggests that anything that makes a woman uncomfortable is too far. On a level, this is a fair way to address the problem, if our aim is to limit people being uncomfortable.
But taking that aim further, avoiding making people uncomfortable, and not knowing precisely what will make people uncomfortable, means we have to watch out for all behavior that might do so. And this is what people are doing now.
So, in this world a man cannot look at a woman, or glance at her even, or do anything that would suggest any interest beyond mere friendship, without fear of causing discomfort.
Skipping many levels of logic here, the end result is that it seems like it best simply to have men and women be put together by some governmental or superior group whose purpose would only be to ensure babies to ensure human survival.
Seriously, this is a logical conclusion from a blurring of sexual mores and roles and expectations. I am not even getting into how we live, but in terms of mere sexual interest, we are simply better off putting our lives in the hands of a higher organization designed to ensure no one gets hurt.
If men cannot control themselves, have someone else do it. That’s, really, the only way to fully protect women from being uncomfortable at times.
Do we want to go there? I don’t. Not that I objectify women or abuse them, because I don’t. Because there is another way, and it involves stepping back and accepting at least a couple realities:
1) Men are different than women.
2) That is a good thing.
3) All of us are better off when we recognize this goodness and accept the differences.
4) Men DO need to be responsible and accept that some things we do may be found to make ladies uncomfortable and take steps not to do so.
5) Women must also accept that men are not going to be perfect, and they must recognize that men are different then they are. In so doing, they need to not be so sensitive that a man might be attracted to them.
6) None of this is to suggest that women let men really abuse them, or that men should think they can abuse them. Neither is emphatically true, and both need to work together to root out real abuse when it happens.
When this happens, when men accept responsibility and women accept that men are men, we can maybe stop some of the madness. However, men are not being held truly accountable or taught that they need to act a certain way. Dads aren’t involved and women don’t understand boys becoming men. They can’t! Imagine the racial argument that suggests whites can never appreciate black experience because they are not black. Its no different than women expecting to teach a boy how to be a man.
I don’t want to live in a world where men cannot be men. The only way to fully stop any discomfort is to take away all ability for men and women to interact besides through a referee. That is true unless we both, men and women, learn to regulate our selves and take responsibility for our actions.
The biggest question, though, is: do real men and real women have the courage to do see that through. So, do you think such grown ups exist? Where are they and what can we do to get them to come out of their closets to advocate for real reform rather than be bullied into submission by women who can’t be uncomfortable?